The Family Man

It's not the finest world, not for me, but it's the best world I have. That's the philosophy I chose to stick to.

Unfortunately Philosophy doesn't cut it. There is no rule of thumb. The world has its own rules and you have to sacrifice everything to meet them. At this point in time the rulebook might as well have been written by a fucking Nazi.

When I graduated the world had already descended into shit... 8 years of my life... gone. My eduction made no difference. Having a doctorate in engineering, it had no impact. There were no jobs for me.

I waited and kept trying, getting stuck in some dead end job, after 10 years I'm still there, still waiting. Except with one crucial difference. I have people to protect. Having people who depend on you is the biggest goddam liability. You can't leave em behind, but you have to bust your ass twice as hard to keep em alive.

You can't leave em behind because you love em... that's the biggest goddam liability...

Love.

To say I'm still there is a slight lie, I was shifted to the other side. A higher position for less pay. In another country. Some little place in Europe under the shadow of the Alps... in France. I don't even speak fucking French.

Sometimes I just think, Why am I still doing this, and honest to God sometimes it's hard to answer. It certainly isn't for the good old U S of A, anyway. The only answer, and honest to Christ it's the only thing keeping me going.

A family to love and a whiskey to cry in to.

I suppose I should consider myself lucky, at least I have a job, and ain't that the sad truth...

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